That is Ir-Fucking-Relevant

Why is it so hard to tell boy polar bears from girl polar bears? This is the kind of thought that runs through my head as I squeeze out a terribly hard shit. No, actually this is what MSN is trying to teach me today thanks to the genius of Juliet Lapidos.

Thanks Juliet, and thank you MSN for attempting to enlighten me to the sex determination of fucking polar bears. Here's my message for you: I DO NOT CARE. A polar bear is a BEAR, and that is all that matters. If and when I encounter a polar bear, my instinct will not be to walk up and figure out whether or not I can jerk the thing off, instead it will be to get the fuck out of there, because again, it is a big fucking bear.

Bears fuck people up on a regular basis, in fact, they are probably more dangerous than sharks, earthquakes, or professional athletes. So regardless of whether or not the big fluffy white thing is male or female is completely fucking irrelevant.

What's even worse is the fact that Juliet points out that handlers at the Kushiro Municipal Zoo in northern Japan tried and failed to mate two polar bears because both bears were chicks. Fucking idiots. Here's my advice to you for next time: Find the bear that has a huge dick, and find the other bear that said bear with huge dick tries to mount from behind. Then mate. Jesus.