Someone Should be Arrested

There are hobbies, and then there are hobbies which you should be arrested for. If there isn't a warrant out for Sandra Hartness's arrest, there damn well should be. WTF! "She looks like she's got the hump. And who could blame her?" Oh you think this is funny???? I'm sure the poodle "loved" the grooming process. It only took 2 hours!! Anyone would "love" anything if you were sedated with chloroform first. Because that's essentially the only way to get something/someone to NOT move while you cut their hair to make it look like there was a clump of shit on their back.

Wait, wait wait!!! There's a competitive grooming circuit?!?! And there are rules?! Only in the U.S! The rest of the world struggles to hydrate themselves with clean water and we're so fucking bored out of our minds that we make our pets look like OTHER animals and then compete with other parasitic resource consuming Neanderthals.

Wait, wait wait!!! She's been doing this for 7 years! This brings income????

Wait, wait, wait!!! There's a trade magazine called, "Groomer and Groomer"?? Are you fucking kidding me?

People used to put silly costumes on things they owned even though those things didn't want to be dressed up. It was called slavery. Why are we allowed to do this to animals? Look at the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle! He looks fuuuuuurious!!! It doesn't even look like he is standing on anything! Is he hanging by cables? Jack Bauer wouldn't even torture someone to this level!

The first time Sandra was at an event she got sick. Not because of the fact that her dog looked like a walking fucking disaster like it had been kidnapped by a bunch of fucked up 10-year old kids with a whole lot of paint and hedge trimmers, but because she was nervous! Sandra, I hope for your sake you never talk about your life struggles to say...ANYONE! You would make the worst motivational speaker in history.

She thinks her dog Cindy is under so much pressure while on that viewing table and she can't understand how she remains so calm. Your fucking dog is ashamed of itself!!! It's so calm because it has lost face! It's waiting for the guillotine to drop. It's begging you! Cindy wags her fucking tail when she's off the table because she's happy that the most uncomfortable moment in her entire life is finally over.

It's so progressive that they "let" the dogs go to the bathroom during the show. That's newsworthy? Because if you didn't, you and Michael Vick are one in the same according to me.

Poor Sandra though. She's from Yucca Valley and her dog REALLY is her best friend. She fucking brings it to work. That's pathetic. Good thing she can talk to Cindy and find out that indeed Cindy loves it more than she does. Phew! I feel better now that I know how Cindy feels.

Oh and Sandra, when Cindy sees that bag you bring out before competitions, she gets excited because she is hoping you are mailing her far far away from Yucca Valley.

Fuck!