NASCAR To Test For........Drugs

It's really no surprise to me in this day and age to find more and more sports testing for performance enhancing substances. Baseball, Basketball, Football (obviously not working, have you seen these guys?), Wrestling (um, see football), NASCAR.......WHAT?

1) Not a sport.

2) You drive a car, that's it.

3) You can't just start testing for shit simply because everybody else is testing for shit.

Let's think about this for a second...what the fuck substance is NASCAR going to test for? Beer? Hot Dogs? Vagisil? These fuckers sit in a seat and turn a wheel. "Oh, Big Lew Al Timber, it's very demanding, they drive like 500 laps," SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU'RE DRIVING A CAR. "Oh, but it's not that easy, they have to turn, hand over hand." Stop it, you're making my anus contract.

Under NO circumstances will I ever consider driving a sport, nor will I believe that any of these total douche-bags need performance enhancing drugs. They need Roadies and Headers, the same way I do.

Here's my NASCAR rap (sung to 2-Peezie, "I get around." Cause I do bitches):

Round and round, round and round, I drive around
gas-break, gas, gas-break, gas-break
gas-break, gas, gas-break, gas-break
I drive around
gas-break, gas, gas-break, gas-break

Longa dan eva

Hope I don't wreck
All respect to those who crain they neck
To keep they whip in check
cuz my crew they sweat my leather majorly and I don know why, my crew chief keep paging me.
To tell me that I'm speedin
Cry when I'm peelin
And every time he see me, he squeese me
Whitey take it EAASY
Hate to sound athleezy, but belieeeze me
My crew chief love ta suck on my deeeezy!

I'm so sick. Boom!