Or, He's Just Not That Into You

In what is being dubbed (by me) as the most misguided/erroneous report of the day, Judy McGuire thinks that she has a clue what guys think and is of course just confusing women more and more.

First of all Judy, the woman that is TOO hot didn't say she got dumped or have her heart broken, she said she couldn't get anyone to date her. "perhaps it wasn't her gorgeous outsides, but her narcissistic insides that were doing the damage". No, no, no Judy. I think the hot chick had it right. Guys are shallow and they can't handle rejection. So, most don't approach hot chicks. If they never talk to the chick and never get shot down they can still tell all their friends, "Dude, I'm gonna totally bang her."

Secondly, the woman that says that guys break up with her because she is too smart is actually telling the truth. Guys can't stand it when chicks know more than them about...anything. Judy assumes that this imaginary person also has lost all of her female friends because she is mean and condescending. No, it's because women are catty and don't like to be wrong about anything so they team up and hate the girl that is smarter than them.

Thirdly, ladies, if a guy tells you that he is breaking up with you because you are too nice it means that you don't do enough freaky shit in bed. Go ahead, stick your finger in his butt! He won't think you're too nice anymore and he'll actually like you!

Too good in bed? No, that means you were doing some shit that even freaked him out and convinced him that you must have had sex waaaaay too many times to learn the moves you know. He thinks you are a slut and is afraid his penis might disintegrate from STD's. It has nothing to do with how hard you try.

Judy, we only say a woman is too intimidating if she has more money than us. Get a clue. It has nothing to do with her "fabulosity", whatever the fuck that even means. You have no idea what you're talking about. Stop overanalyzing it.

Onward!