How I stumbled upon this is article is beyond me, I guess this kinda shit happens when you sit at home alone all night drinking boones farm and doing blow. Regardless, this is the coolest toy ever and I want it for Christmas.
With The Skull and Bones Gauntlet (fucking Gauntlet? Clearly I've been mis-using this word for my entire life) "there is no question you are the man in charge." Really? Is that because you have fucking 17 inch blades strapped to your hands? Or because you are the only guy with big enough balls to walk into a room dressed like Wolverine's sister? I mean, this is flat out dangerous. I'm terrified of the man that needs to strap on a Skull and Bones Gauntlet in order to feel like the man in charge. That's scarier then the goddamn boogy man.
But that's not all, "the monstrous handspike will not only protect your grip but will send your foes running in the other direction." You fucking think? Again, those are 17 inch blades! And what fucking "foes" do you need to approach wearing this? Obviously this isn't for the guy who loses a pickup basketball game at the gym. Can you imagine that?
Guy 1: Swish, game over bitches
Guy 2: Shit
Guy 1: Better luck next time son, who's got next!?
Guy 2: Oh yeah, just wait till I strap on my gauntlet.
Guy 1: What?
Guy 2 runs to his bag and grabs this ...thing....
Guy 2: HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW WITH MY MONSTEROUS HANDSPIKE WITH 17 INCH BLADES COMING OUT OF MY HAND! YOU WILL PERISH!
Guy 1: Fuck
Thursday, December 4, 2008
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