Unnnnnlucky.

17 miles, huh? 17 fucking miles??? There are a couple of ways that I wouldn't mind going out of this life. Guns blazing. Choking on a peach pit. Having a heart attack while boning Sienna Miller in a helicopter....that is sitting on a helipad...of my yacht.

But getting accidentally struck by a van in Queens and then having your body dragged and mangled 17 miles to Brooklyn by another van on the nicest day of the year in NYC.

Kelly said that the van driver stopped at one point during the drive on New York City's highways and roads because he noticed the vehicle was not driving properly. But he failed to find anything unusual, Kelly said.

I just feel l like I'm not hitting my RPM's. I wonder what in the hell is going on. Hmmm. Tires look alright. Hood isn't smoking. I wonder if it's this mess of internal organs, muscle tissue and various bone matter attached to my chassis is causing the drag. Eh, probably not. Let's keep driving. I'm sure it will work itself out.

Police are retracing the route the van drove in attempt to find body parts.

Jesus.